That Awkward Moment When...

• ... the large, white, unmarked van drives up beside you and it takes all of your will power to resist the urge to bolt! Hollywood has ruined me forever
• ... you see a girl far off who you think her hair looks cute but as she gets closer you realize that below her short shorts, her legs look wrong and she walks funny and then you realize it's actually a MAN!
• ... you find yourself singing to a song and you realize that a car drove by playing that song a little while ago
• ... you desperately wish you had your cell phone but realize you left it at your mother-in-law's ... (more on this one to come later)