Last night, I was sitting on my bed scrolling through my instagram feed, and I came across an image of Eric's cousin, who is a swimsuit/fitness model.
For a moment, I felt sad. I thought of all the things I blame on my kids - my floppy skin, my baggy eyes, my hair falling out, my deteriorating vision, my lack of time and energy...
I for a brief instant thought of what my life would be like with out them - and then continued scrolling.
God is good...
The very next image I saw was one that I had posted:
The caption for it mentioned how difficult it is that she's cutting out naps, and yet how much fun it is when she finally crashes.
I almost started to cry. These little guys are my everything. I wouldn't trade the time I have with them (the good and the bad) for anything! So today, amidst the myriad of things I had to do, I made it a priority to play with my kids - and to rock Adelynn to sleep. I made rocking her a priority, twice.
And you know what? I was a happier, more energetic mama for it!
Nothing can bring me joy like they can. I often trick myself into thinking that ticking things off of my to-do list (all good things ... house maintenance, work, showers...) will bring me joy. But it's a trick. A facade for real joy. Those other things are important and definitely do need to be done (especially the shower...) but they should never, ever, become more important than my kids!
Look at all these things I'd have missed out on, over the last two weeks, without my kids:
Being crammed into a doctor's office for a blood pressure test and then being told I can't leave because, my normal pressure is around 110/70 and I was floating at 80/60. So the kids became monkeys again until we could go.
Seeing these two bond as they eat the "sandwiches" Aaron made for them and watch the cars drive by.
Having this lady drag over a blanket and beg to snuggle!
Daddy says that the face on the top right is Adelynn's "can I have a pony," face - and he says, "of course you can, princess!"
Coming across Audrey sleeping - everywhere
Sneaking outside to eat ice cream sandwiches so we don't have to share!
That'd be an awful lot less fun if we weren't sneaking away from anyone!
Hearing Aaron's encouraging words as I workout:
"Great Job!" "That's it!" "You're doing it!" "You didn't fall down!" "That looks amazing! Woo Hoo!"
"... O.o ... Mama, you can't do that! People will think you're crazy!"
Seeing Audrey's creative use of my headband!
Seeing how proud Aaron is of his creative spirit. He used sticky tabs to create finish lines and race tracks for his cars. He also proudly showed me that he did a pattern of pink, blue, repeat!
Being surprised by Audrey's brilliance! I handed her a puzzle of 10 pieces to do and she said, "no way!" She put the puzzle away and pulled out the alphabet puzzle and proceeded to pull off the letters and tell me what they are AND what sound they make! She was correct for the vast majority of them!
Seeing Audrey glow when "her friends" come over - refusing to let them eat & demanding to sit atop their laps.
Low light, late night selfies!
Listening to Audrey sing "itsy bitsy spider" to calm Adelynn when she, once again, rolled and got a limb stick in the crib. (Normally Aaron calms her, but he was making his bed, so Audrey stepped in!)
Hearing Aaron's toys tell each other that "families can help! They are the best and they are forever!"
Audrey finding me (hiding behind the couch so as to be close by but not be asked for anything...) and sitting on my bum instead of the couch.
Adelynn's insane abs (she was lying down ... good thing I buckled her in!).
Aaron informing me that Halloween is the reason for everything:
- It's getting dark, because Halloween is coming!
- The leaves are still turning red, because Halloween is coming!
- I'd like toast, because Halloween is coming!
Painting my nails simply so I can hear Audrey say, "oooooooo, pretty!"
And, of course, listening to the silly things they do - I seriously die every time she says "wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
I love my children - I always have.
But, sometimes, I just need a gentle reminder of just how much I love them. And lucky for me, God gave me that reminder last night!
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