Playing God

I played God today...

People's futures were in my hands and I decided who's to change and how...  I didn't like it. I hope I'm never on a hiring committee again!  I was asked to go through the resumes first (and believe me, there were more resumes than I have limbs to count on!) and select who made it through the first round.  I didn't have to select who we will hire but I did have to select who we won't.  Sitting there with massive sheets of paper in my hands I poured over them carefully trying to determine whether or not the applicants matched the criteria.  Some very clearly didn't -- like we aren't hiring students but some students applied, or there were more formatting and spelling errors in their resume or cover letter than there are in a Congress Bill... I didn't feel SO bad removing those from the pile but I still felt bad knowing that some of them have been searching for a job for a long time and desperately need one.

Who am I to determine someone's future? I'm nobody.  I don't know them, I don't know what they're truly capable of, I don't know anything.

It's strange though... some of the applications I went through appeared to meet the criteria but I just didn't feel right about them. Even though their credentials met the needs of my department they didn't seem like a good fit though I was never able to put my finger on why.

So I guess I didn't play God... I guess God played out his will through me.  Though in some cases there was no inspiration either way, but God often leaves choices up to us to decide. Those are my least favorite decisions. 

I'm praying for those that I put in the "no" pile as well as those I placed in the "yes" pile.  I'm praying that God will look out for them - that they will find the job that they need, that their families will be taken care of, and that their spirits will be lifted because I know many of them thought they were perfect for this job and now their world has been shattered again by yet another refusal. That may sound dramatic, but I know what it's like to be on the other end... knowing that I did my best but that my best was not good enough.  And now I know what it's like to be on the end where you choose... what if you put the right candidate in the wrong pile?  What if the person you hired doesn't live up to what you need and puts the whole department behind?  What if that's my fault?


*sigh*  I worry a lot and I know that most of my worrying is unnecessary but I can't help it.  All I know is that if I do what I'm supposed to, I can be God's Hands. I just hope I was listening with both ears and my heart.