For a class, Eric has to write a paper that requires he asks a series of 4 questions to people who know him well.
I love to brag about Eric so after I answered the questions, I couldn't help but want to post them up here. He said it was ok. :}
What would you say are my key leadership skills?
Eric knows the way to find out what is right. He knows to do his research and to never just take someone’s word for anything. He knows there is always another side to the story. He also knows the right way to go about bringing change. He knows that bashing heads together is not going to accomplish anything – but neither is sitting back and using his powers of wishful thinking.
Eric listens. He never jumps to conclusions and always hears everything the other person has to say.
Judging people is not in Eric’s nature – he gifts them with the benefit of the doubt until they have time and time again proved that they were ultimately wrong. And even then, they are not judged but provided with the means to fix what went wrong and better their life. The means are always different as the situation is always different, but Eric in due course does what is best for the individual and the team.
Before offering advice, Eric asks if the person would like to receive it. He knows that not everyone wants to be advised and he also knows there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Criticism only tears down and Eric’s main goal always has and always will be to build people up.
Eric knows that if someone can figure something out for themselves that it will go a lot further than them being told. He could try to tell someone that they were wrong and all it would accomplish is hard feelings. Or, he could aid the person in coming to the knowledge of a better way on their own and the person will want to change rather than fight the change.
God has granted Eric the serenity to accept the things he cannot change, courage to change those he can and wisdom to know the difference. On top of this, He has gifted Eric with the ability to adapt what he cannot change. Eric knows how to mold things and make them work when others fail.
Eric is an example. Not always a quiet example as he is usually a team leader, but he does not point out that he is an example. He does not tell people to emulate him but through his actions, people desire to emulate him on their own. Eric doesn’t manipulate. He is a powerful force and people follow him, but they do so because he is good. Not because he manipulates them into thinking they want to follow him.
When at all possible, Eric doesn’t direct – he guides.
How do I influence people around me? How did I influence you (even small instances can be revealing here…)?
Eric’s strongest method of influence is the example he sets for others.
Eric loves video games. He has played them all his life and they are something he is INCREDIBLE at. When we were dating, he had a game night at our home. The game he played was an intense game with lots of violence and blood. We had recently had a discussion about what kind of spirit we wanted in our home and how our media choices would affect that spirit. Following the discussion, I threw away a few movies that had scenes that I needed to fast-forward through. So when I saw the game he was playing, I was taken aback. This was not the kind of thing that would bring a good spirit into our home and it certainly wasn’t something I wanted my future children to walk in and see their Dad playing. So I asked Eric a series of questions which led to him understand that I felt the game wasn’t appropriate and he soon agreed with me.
Further down the road, my little brother, Thomas, mentioned how he enjoyed the same game and Eric told him how he used to enjoy it but that we as a family felt it wasn’t an a game we found uplifting in any manner. Thomas was shocked. Being the only boy out of 7 children (he has 6 sisters) he had never had an older brother or role model to look up to. When Eric came into our lives he instantly filled that role for Thomas. Thomas trusted Eric’s judgment and quickly changed the caliber at which he rated games – not because Eric told him to, but because he had learned from Eric the importance of molding his life around allowing the Spirit to influence him – something that would have been a struggle for the Spirit while playing degrading games. He saw in Eric something he wanted to become, something he wanted to emulate.
Can you think of an example(s) where this leadership skill/influence showed itself?
Once while we were dating, my roommates pulled me aside and until about 4am they lectured me about how I should be handling a relationship. I was flabbergasted. Who were they to tell me about how I should be interacting with Eric? I told Eric and he too was shocked. I knew we needed to work things out between my roommates and me but I had no idea where to start.
Luckily, Eric offered to talk to them. This seemed like a good idea because he was involved but was not as close to the situation as I was. He went to one of my roommates and sat down with her. Later, when I spoke with her she said that she had never been reprimanded in such a Christ-like manner – in fact, reprimanded wasn’t even the right word to use! Eric could tell there were personal issues that she was dealing with and rather than shove those aside, he asked her what was wrong and offered to help. He then showed her how we, as a couple, were not her responsibility in a way that she fully understood. This influenced me because as a mom I often want to go charging in and cut off the head of anyone who upsets my son – but I need to realize that there is more at work than I can see. I need to understand that others have needs too, not just my son and I need to look for a way to help all people involved.
Can you think of another skill or capability of mine that readily lends itself to leadership?
There are many people in the world with the mentality that they know best and that others cannot possibly follow in their footsteps. If someone is confused or doesn’t understand, a person of the prior mentioned mentality would say, “do it this way” or better yet, “here, just let me do it!”
Eric is the exact opposite. If someone came up to Eric and said, “I’m hungry,” he would never just hand over a fish. He would take the man to the store and help him pick out a fishing pole. He would then guide the man to the fish pond and teach him how to make a lure. He would explain that though he has his personal methods for making a lure that there are many ways to do so but the basics for each lure are ultimately the same. He would show the man that he could improve on his lure but only if he stuck to the basics first – otherwise his flashy lure would fall apart and never attract any fish. He would then teach the man to fish. He would stay with the man until he got the hang of it and then leave the man a way to get in contact with him in case any questions arose.
Some leaders lead by telling others what to do. Then, once the leadership changes, those under the new leadership crumble. They no longer know what to do.
Other leaders give everyone what they want – they listen to all ideas and use any idea that comes down the drainpipe to avoid hurting feelings. Under that form of leadership, everything disintegrates.
The last type of leaders teach. They lead by example and give the exact right amount of leeway to give those they lead an opportunity to use their imagination. They guide people in the direction of the future. When the leadership is altered, the members of the team flourish still. Though leadership is necessary, they are not dependent on it. They have learned enough to still progress through any change that occurs. If you wanted to look up this last type of leader in the dictionary, you need only turn to the “E” section and scroll down till you find “Eric Hornibrook.”
