Stuck Inside

In Utah, winter is awesome. It either makes you want to sit by the fire with a cup of hot chocolate or by the window watching the snow (with said hot chocolate) or be out IN the snow having a blast. In Oregon, winter is dark, gloomy, and wet. But we endure them because the rest of the seasons are great.  This is how we entertain ourselves inside.

Sorry this video is dark, but I can't have the lights on very much these days. You can still see how cute Aaron is. :)

These were taken later this evening. We turned on the light to do dishes and Aaron was sooooo excited

Aaron's Crib

Lately, Aaron has been shortening his nap ... like from 3 hours to 1. And we have a rule - the binky stays in the crib. And since he has been waking up earlier, he hasn't wanted to give up the binky. Fine by me - I give him a snack and some toys and he plays in the crib. Yesterday he played for 2 hours.

Taking advantage of this, I laid down for a nap. Next thing I knew, Aaron was climbing up on my bed ... no loud bang, no nothing ... how the heck? So I put him back in the crib and asked him to show me how he did it - and he did indeed. I tried to record it but it scared me so much that half of the recording is facing the floor...

Today, he again woke up after only an hour and refused to give up the binky. However, unlike all the other times, he knew he was capable of getting out of the bed.

I pulled up the live feed camera we have in his room and watched. I can't record off the camera, but I took a few still shots using the print screen function on the computer.

He started out with pants on - I promise. I think he took them off for better traction. Notice he is simply using his dog-on muscles to pull himself up.

 He started on one side of the crib and then moved to the other.

 Once he switched sides, it was a matter of seconds before he had waddled to the living room where I was sitting at the computer. Binky in hand.

Seeing as he can get out whenever he wants and it is potentially dangerous, I think we are going to have to turn his crib into a day bed... which will be hard. For his time-out, he is placed in his room and the door is shut. This is enough to cause him to cry simply because he cannot get out. If he can get out of his bed and walk to the door and then be stopped, he may have difficulty. We also don't have anywhere else to keep his toys ... what is to stop him from getting up and playing?  This will be quite an adventure.

Honesty

I am starting this post at 1:37 a.m. I cannot sleep. Lately, this has not been a problem for me - lately, all I do is sleep. But tonight, I am plagued by thoughts. Thoughts that I am hoping that if I write them down, they will allow me to sleep.

Eric and I had a very deep conversation tonight. Not that we don't talk or have meaningful conversations, but tonight was different. It had a topic that hasn't been discussed before with the outcome that we arrived at...

Happy is a tough thing to define. I have the best husband I could ever ask for. I have an amazing son. I am an expectant mother. My son goes to bed at a time that allows him to play with my husband but also gives me an entire evening alone with said husband. I have the gospel. What more could I need? Really, my life is good.

And yet ... something is wrong. We came up with a list tonight of some of those things:

• The first being that I am obviously pregnant... which this time comes with migraines, exhaustion, and nausea. It makes me emotional. It makes me spend a lot of time in bed or on the couch and less time teaching Aaron. This is extremely hard. It also means that Eric does a lot of the housework and helps with meals - things that I ought to be doing.
• Another being a severe lack of friends... In fact, I have one friend - Emily who is amazing (but I probably drive her crazy...). I have lots of people that I know that are nice to me and I am nice to them, but no one that I call on a whim or that I hang out with. No one that in the back of my mind I don't wonder do they really like me? This doubt is a problem I haven't had since high school... I thought I made friends easily but recent events have brought those doubts back. I want friends, in fact Eric has friends at work whose wives I desperately want to be friends with, who seem so amazing, but I haven't had much opportunity and then there is that doubt... what if they don't like me? I know, sounds like high school, doesn't it?
• The next, like the last, is sensitive to talk about in public, but is real. I love Eric's family. They are amazing. But they don't live suuuuuuper close and family gatherings are chaotic. And as much as I love them, it doesn't change the fact that I am the "little sister" - those of you who are younger siblings know what I mean... and it is tough going from being an older sibling in my family to being a younger one... I'm adjusting, and like I said, they are great, and I love them a lot but it is still an adjustment. It is nothing that they are doing - it is simply a part or melding with a new family.
• The last is that we are looking to move. Not sure what area, but we are going to move hopefully soon. I sit here and have thoughts that basically say my life will begin once we move. Which is ridiculous, my life began 23 years ago! And yet I keep thinking that once we have a bigger place I'll invite people over more or once I truly love where we live I'll take better care of it, or once I am surrounded by different people, perhaps I'll make friends, blah blah blah...

But it really all boils down to one thing if you combine all of these - I don't feel fulfilled. I don't feel like my life, right now, is making a difference. I don't feel like I am changing anyone else for the better or contributing to anything bigger than myself. And I'm having trouble finding the motivation...

So tonight we made a decision; a decision that we feel will make a difference. Obviously not over night, but in time...

Today I was asked to be one of a few choreographers for a Dance Festival. I had never heard of something like this, but I guess they are common outside of Utah. It is where 6 stakes get together and put on a huge production. It is projected that 1800 youth will participate in this event. They asked me to choreograph the waltz for 12 couples that will be taught across all 6 stakes and then performed by 72 couples in a grid system (sorry if that makes no sense but it is the best way I can explain it). I talked with Eric and we are both (rightly) concerned that it will be too taxing and too stressful given the condition I am in right now. But he saw something in me tonight as we first discussed the festival and then discussed my feelings... He saw me light up as I explained some ideas that are already forming in my mind. He saw some excitement in me - a spark. 

We realized that if I can find one thing where I feel I am making a difference that it will translate into the rest of my life. Slowly, having a purpose will rejuvenate me and help me battle the pregnancy woes. 

I talked with my friend Emily and she has agreed to help me along with her husband so that I don't make things worse by throwing my self into something I can't handle. And Eric has been so supportive. Seeing how much slack he has already picked up for me and then agreeing to support me as I want to be part of something that takes away time from being home isn't easy, but ... here he is doing it. Willingly. He has encouraged me to pursue it. Like I said earlier, I really could not ask for a better husband. It seems like he was made for me.

I am not doing this post as a pity post - I am also not doing it to hurt anyone who is close to me. I don't want anyone to walk away from reading this thinking that being a mother is not enough for me ... Anyone who is a mother knows that she cannot wrap her life around her children and live through them. That is insane. Everyone needs their own hobbies and their own activities. I am simply putting my honest thoughts in my journal. It just so happens that my journal is public. 

It is now 2:22 a.m. This is the longest I have looked at a computer screen in a week without feeling like my head is going to explode.

I feel that this is a good sign.

And I am going to bed.

Guess What???

If you haven't figured out via all of my references about being sick, we're pregnant again!

Baby #2 is due July 21, 2013

We are so excited!

A few things about this pregnancy have been the same.

First, I got big, fast!

Here I am at 5 weeks next to my sister who was 33 weeks

And then again at 8 weeks....

And then the pictures at the top we took today - at 15 weeks. 

Second, I put on weight fast... With Aaron by the end of the first trimester I had gained 10lbs. With this baby, I have gained more than I have fingers to count but less than fingers + toes... I gained a total of 45lbs with Aaron and I'm not expecting to put on any less with this one... Luckily, thanks to genetics, my body doesn't like to hold on to excess weight so with Aaron I lost the first 35lbs in less than a week and the last 10 fell off in the next 5 weeks. Hopefully that is the case with this next one too...

One difference; I am nauseated like I was with Aaron, but my main source of misery is belly pain that requires heavy medication and migraines that also require heavy medication and that put me in the hospital earlier this week (I'll post about that later). Basically I get up and do one thing then lie back down. I have to keep the lights low at all times and if I'm at a screen for more than 5 minutes I'm down in bed for at least an hour *sigh* Luckily, Aaron has been a trooper and loves to crawl in bed with me and show me his cars.

Another difference is so ... much ... acne ... !!! I feel like I'm a teenager! Holy cow, I did NOT have this problem with Aaron... *sigh* 

Eric and I got to feel the baby kick on January 19th. We were sitting right beside each other so he was able to feel right away - how lucky is that?!? This little kiddo has been pushing and kicking a ton ever since.
We are so excited and already love this little one so much!!!

More About Aaron

The last post I did showed a lot of what Aaron has been up to and had lots of photos, but this one is more about who Aaron is and what he enjoys.

Aaron is 2 ft 10 in and 23 lbs 8 oz - he is pretty skinny but he is super active. His poor head is in the 13th percentile, his weight is the 43rd and his height is the 85th... he's more the build of an older child than a child his age... Perhaps if he sat down and allowed himself to gain weight he might be more "normal"

Here are some of his favorites in no particular order:

Cars:

Really - it doesn't matter what kind of car or what color. He loves to watch them and gets soooo excited when he hears the garbage truck outside. He loves to watch them, ride in them, play with them...

Running:
He loves when I say, "ready, set, go! RUN RUN RUN!!!" He giggles and takes off running - he's faster than me some days. :)

Dancing:
There doesn't even have to be music, though he gets more into the moves when there is. He loves to work the room - he'll circle and smile. He spins and moves his arms. He loves to also stand still, make a funny face and shake his hips. I see a future for this kid!

Drum:
Everything is a drum - and I mean, everything....

High Fives:

He calls them "fives" and he he loves to give them repeatedly. He is always disappointed when he offers "fives" to other kids his age and they don't know quite what he wants. His favorite person to give them to is his Daddy - If Mama asks for a high five and Daddy is around, he'll run straight to give it to Daddy instead.

Hugs:

Aaron loves to give hugs. When he's hanging out in my bed (which he also loves) he likes to give me hugs and snuggle me - in the same way I hug and snuggle him. He also loves to play a game he invented. He stands up and hollers HUGS! Every one in the room then has to hold out their arms and he'll pick who he wants to give hugs to and then rush to whomever he picks.

Bedtime:

Most kids have a bedtime routine that involves calming down and reading books and, well, anything to calm the child down. Aaron, we throw him in the air, run around, clean his room, play some more, brush teeth, change a diaper, play more, do some more throwing, say prayers and give lots of kisses (mom and dad both kiss Aaron then kiss each other) and then we practically toss him in the crib. IT is a big fanfare. When we tell him it's nuh-nye time, he gets so excited! And we love it too.

Outside:

If we tell Aaron we are going outside, he asks for his "coke" meaning his coat and his shoes and plops down by the door so we can  help him put on his gear. He then will race outside. But he stops at the edge of the porch and repeats, "wait, wait, wait" because that's what I used to have to tell him - but now he simply waits and then asks for my hand. I love it.

Climbing:

Aaron loves to climb on things - and he is fast. He is so strong and he can pull himself up on anything. If I turn my back to get a cup out of the cabinet, I'll turn and find him sitting atop the kitchen table, just because he can.

Technology:

Aaron loves anything having to do with technology. He loves to get on the computer, watch the tablet, play with the Xbox controller, mess with the remote, talk on the phone... really, anything. And it is hard to keep him away from it.

Books:

Aaron loves to "read a story."  He loves for me to read to him and he loves to pretend to read to me :)

Singing:

He loves to sing and often asks me to "sing song." He particularly loves to bring me his "melmo" (Elmo) doll and I have him sing "Aaron's Song."

Food:
Aaron loves food. He used to eat like a bird, and he still eats little for his meals but he sure eats a lot of them. He has his favorites

• Broccoli - he'll eat it before anything else on his tray
• Pizza
• Mac & Cheese
• Hot dogs (He'll ask for food and then rush to the kitchen chanting for a hot dog)
• Tomatoes
• Potatoes - he loves baked potatoes and tater tots
• Toast - if I sprinkle it with a garlic bread spread, he'll down it so fast
• Spoonful of peanut butter - he won't eat a pb&j but he loves straight peanut butter
• Noodles - doesn't matter what is on them, if anything at all
• Veggie Chips and Pirate's Booty
• Gold Fish and Crackers
• Hershey's Kisses - which, Eric showed me on Sunday that Aaron can open them on his own... I think I had better keep them up high

I hope this shows you a bit of what Aaron is loving these days.

18 Months!

I can hardly believe it! A few weeks ago, my baby turned 18 months!!! He has grown so much! There is so much to show you and tell you, this may be a huge post, but I want to show you what he's been up to.

To start with, I want to share all my statues/tweets about his shenanigans from this month. 

January 1:

• Aaron and I are both sick... The difference is while I am down and out in bed feeling terrible, he is still running around having fun. I am so glad he is such a trooper... And his little giggle always makes me feel better :)
• Today, we heard Aaron crying in his room. If he is hurt, he comes to us, if he is stuck, he calls for me and then cries. Eric went in to find him atop the changing table... Little stinker climbed on his cars table - to the rocking chair - onto his dresser - and then to the changing table ... soon realizing descent is sometimes harder than the climb. Lol. That's my monkey for you.

January 2:

• Aaron got a baby doll for Christmas. Today, he wanted to change it's diaper. Seeing as the baby has clothes on, and he doesn't know how to take them off, Aaron opened the diaper and laid it across the baby's face then stood up and cheered for himself. :)

January 3:

• Aaron just tried to feed his baby a cough drop... I think we need to set some boundaries. :D

January 7:

• Aaron pulled me into his room 3 consecutive times asking for a diaper change. The instant we got in his room however, he abandoned his diaper quest and very sweetly ran for his cars and asked that we play cars. I checked his diaper, and it is completely clean. Given his determination, I think I should stop what I'm doing and go play cars with my son.

• CRAZY! My baby is 18 months today! Who said he was allowed to grow up?!? Make it stop!

January 8:

• Aaron came in our room asking for cookies. I told him I didn't have cookies, so he raced out of the room. he must have known where they were because he almost instantly came back with a bag of toffee calling for cookies. Lol

January 9:

• Aaron just heard my tummy grumble. He looked at my tummy, then at me with a mixed look of terror and complete confusion. :)

• Aaron just snuck into my room with his speargun toy and shot me while I was resting in bed... Achievement unlocked ...?

• It started with his baby doll, but Aaron has branched out. He has decided that all of his toys need to go nuh-nye... So he is launching his cars, stuffed animals, etc. into his crib.

January 10:

• Aaron just walked up to me carrying the sippy cup he had this morning. when I went to put him down for his nap, I could not find it anywhere. I looked at him and said, "where do you hide these things?" He looked at me, threw his hands in the air and replied, "I don't know." Haha, legit!

January 11:

• Aaron lost a ball under the oven today. He came to me very sad asking for me to get it. I grabbed the broom and knocked the ball out along with 6 others, a flour baby, and a small tambourine. Oh boy...

January 15:

• Yesterday, at the end of the day, I was too tired to cook so Ericsaid we could get a pizza (go Eric!). When he climbed back in the car with the box, Aaron knew instantly what it was, got excited and chanted pizza all the way home...Today, I am sitting at the computer and he comes to me asking for broccoli... Huh?

• I feel like I got hit by a truck - probably because Aaron drove one on my head #toddlerissues

January 16:

• Aaron was eating his mac and cheese with a spoon, but it took too long so he switched to fist fulls. #moreefficient #toddlersmarts #sillyboy

• Worst tantrum ever #kidisgonnablowagasket #mypoorears #nowwhat?

• first time all day he's not screaming or whacking me with a toy. wondering if he is sick #abnormal #poorkid #watchcars

January 21:

• Aaron just crawled on my bed with his toy hammer, there is no way that this can end poorly, right? #everymanforhimself
• Aaron came to me asking me to pick him up, I asked him to be patient. He then asked for a hug which warrants an instant pick up #smartkid

• After coming to me asking for cars, I told Aaron to go get one. He brought me my rainboot. Sure enough, stuck in my boot was a car #whatthe

Wow, I know that was a lot, but that sure does tell a bunch of stories!

Now for some pictures and some of the best videos mostly in order of the month (trust me, we have tons of both, but I'll try to limit my uploading)

Aaron loves balls - absolutely loves them and he has good aim if you give him a target (i.e. hold our your hands or a bucket)

Here is Aaron getting some help changing the baby's diaper ... and then trying to feed it a cough drop

Aaron loves to help Mama clean!

We had a LAN party to play Dota 2 with a few friends - we traded off who played so I could play too! And, as if that isn't nerdy enough, the boys wanted to turn on The Fellowship of the Ring in the background. :)

 Aaron wanted to play too :)

Like any boy would, Aaron has discovered a fascination with cars. Not just ones on the road (though, don't get me wrong, if he could sit and stare out the window at cars all day, he would - he also loves planes and helicopters [or, as he would call them 'copters]), but the movie by Disney... It is his favorite. Suddenly everything is "lightning" this and "lightning" that. He even has a small Lightning McQueen car that he takes to bed with him. Heaven help us if we can't find that little car.

 

He doesn't just watch the pictures move on the screen though. You can tell he knows what is going on... If I am not there to calm him, he will get full on tears when the movie gets intense (in fact, we were watching a tv show today and a commercial came on where people were crying and there were guns and loud noises and he freaked out). One time ... poor kid ... I was in the bathroom with the door shut and he started screaming and I had no idea why. I rushed out as fast as I could and realized that "Frank" in the movie was chasing Lightning and Mater... I have been careful to not make that same mistake.

Aaron also loves to play cars with Daddy! Ane found this blanket that was Eric's when he was little and gave it to him - Aaron was so excited to play with it!

Sometimes, Aaron prefers my bed to his... He didn't want to take a nap so we watched Castle on my phone. I knew he had fallen asleep when he stopped saying "Oh No!" every time a commercial came on.

Aaron is getting pretty good at eating on his own with a spoon... This was the 2nd time I let him try.

Aaron loves this game, though he plays it backwards.

Normally, you use the golf tee's to jump other tee's and remove the one you jumped. He LOVES to have me pull them all out and he puts them all back in. He is super good at it too!

 

Aaron loves his friend Eli - he always talks about him. When we go in the car he first asks if we are going to see Grampa/Gramma and when I say no, he asks if we are going to go see Eli.

My little sister had a baby! Aaron and I could hardly contain our excitement :)

I was sick on Sunday - in bed on some pretty heavy medication, so Aaron and Daddy got to spend the day together. Aaron and Daddy love to make funny faces and make music!

These first 18 months have been incredible. Aaron is such a happy kid. He brings so much joy to our lives. He makes life easier and harder at the same time - every once in a while we get a severe melt down (when someone wants to play with his favorite toy in his room or when he wants to watch "lightning" and Mama says no) and of course he has to go in time-outs, but we have been told by multiple sitters that he is the easiest kid they have ever watched. (I guess this means I need to watch out for the next one, eh?) We love him and are excited to see what the next 18 months have in store for us!

Aaron in the Snow

Today, it finally snowed in Beaverton! It is a light snow and nothing is sticking, but I was so excited to take Aaron out to see it!

Aaron was refusing to take a nap and then I noticed it was snowing! How perfect! So we bundled up and went outside.

If you look Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper close, you can see the snow...

Here we are trying to catch snowflakes on our tongues!

How to have Fun Doing Laundry

We live in an apartment without a washer/dryer. I haven't been feeling too well so we've been doing laundry on Saturdays when Eric can be home to help...

Aaron, loves it. It is much more fun to go with Mama AND Daddy than it is to go with just Mama... Here is how he entertains himself.

Yeah - he totally climbed all the way in eventually. 

Nursery

Today was Aaron's first time in nursery!!!  We weren't sure if he'd be able to go, but he woke up with his runny nose miraculously gone. We even got there 15 minutes early, GO US! (switching to 11am church rather than 9am definitely helps us get there on time)

We didn't do any prep work to get him used to nursery, he just was exposed for the first time. But he walked in like a boss, said hi to the other kids, then sat down to play. We didn't have to stay with him at all.

He made it through the entire "second hour" of church before he was brought to us ... Sniffling ...

We weren't planning to stay beyond that point anyway (I was suuuuuuper sick and after we left church I didn't leave the couch/bed for the rest of the day) so it didn't matter. Plus, it was kinda cute that he missed us :)

Here he is just before leaving for church

We are so proud! He's such a big boy!

Making the Cut!

Aaron's hair was long, longer, and longest! No where on his head was the hair the same length as another place... It all grew in so sporadically. It is curly so you can't normally tell, but in the back, it went to his shoulders! So I decided it was time to make the cut.

He started out on Daddy's lap. Mama had the buzzer.

However, our buzzer is old... and noisy. So very quickly, Mama had to hold Aaron...

And very quickly after that, we had to stop. Aaron was simply too frightened.

So we switched. We grabbed Eric's beard trimmer. We used the longest setting it has.

Aaron's hair is shorter than I planned, and boy to I miss those curls, but he looks more his age now!

 Here are his locks! I have them saved in a special bag.