How to Pick and Decorate a Tree

Step 1. Go to the tree lot around the corner and let the kids agree on a tree. This step should take a maximum of 5 minutes. Though, take some time to host a dance party in the tree lot if they are playing good music.

 Step 2. Tell the kids that before we can go to the store for treats and decorate the tree, they must first pose for a picture. Endure the displeased look the children give to the camera and earn back their happiness by letting them help strap the tree down.

Step 3. Have awesome grandparents (GP and Grammy) who request you take the kids out for "drumsticks." Go shopping and get a bunch of fancy bread and eggnog with the ice cream.

Step 4. All hands on deck, no matter how helpful those hands actually are.

 

 Step 5. Hang the select few fragile ornaments high and allow the rest down low for tiny people to rearrange at will. Make sure they are out of reach of the crawling baby though! 

 

 In fact, move said crawling baby away until everything is hung... 

 Step 6. Allow one child to hang the star and the other to plug it in.

 Step 7. Bust out the drumsticks!

Step 8. Laugh at the adorable faces your kids make and realize ... you make cute kids.

 Step 9. Sit back and enjoy looking at a sexy man with your beautiful tree in the background.

Sip your eggnog and devour your fancy breads, in a lady-like fashion, to add to the effect.

Step 10. Go kiss that sexy man.

Voila, you have a tree!