Gravity

Tonight we went to see Gravity. It was a great film - I highly recommend it, but it got me thinking...
This post doesn't contain spoilers (I have kept it free of those) but it does re-tell a small part of the story. So, if that bother's you, I would suggest waiting to see the movie prior to reading my post.

In the movie, one of the astronauts asks Ryan (the main girl) about her life. She then explains that her daughter was playing at school one day; she tripped, hit her head, and that was it... After losing her daughter, she just did the bare minimum to stay alive. The movie is her journey to find a reason to live. It was incredible. Near the end, she is talking to a character who had died asking this character to look for her daughter. She explains her daughter's name is Sarah and she will likely have unkempt hair as she hated brushing it. Then, and this is the part that made me cry off and on for the rest of the night, she asks the character to tell Sarah that Mama found her red shoe. She was so worried about that shoe, but it was right under the bed.

Earlier today, we couldn't find Aaron's car, McMissile. He was devastated.  This is where my thoughts turned during this scene in the movie. I started thinking about how precious our little ones are and how what is important to them may not seem to be truly important, but because it is important to them it should be important to us.

I then started thinking ... what if Aaron died while I was gone? What if Audrey died? Or Eric ... what would I do? How would I appropriately mourn while also giving the attention deserved to those still living? What would be my reason to keep living?

I have no answers and I pray I never need the answers ... but you better believe I made Eric drive as quickly as possible to go pick up my children after the movie (haha, kinda opposite of the term "date night" but oh well). I walked in and Aaron was so excited to see me! He gave me a big hug (which made me start crying again) and said very enthusiastically, "I LOVE YOU MAMA!"

These kids and Eric are my life. How does life continue when the things that make my life end?