I Am The Luckiest

There has been a lot going on recently.

I haven't been myself, that's for sure. I'll be feeling fine one moment and in the next worry I'm going to pass out or fall asleep mid conversation or sink into random despair. I cry at the drop of a hat - literally, a hat falling could make me cry. My other pregnancies were hard, but I have to say, I never felt like this with those - especially not the emotional, hormonal roller-coaster!

That being said, Eric has been amazing.

He always asks, "what do you need?" or "what can I get for you?" 

He offers his arm with no hesitation to help me get up out of my seat - I don't even have to ask for it.

He always wants to know how I'm feeling. He calls mid-day just to inquire, knowing he'll definitely get an ear-full. But at the end when I apologize for rambling, he always reassures me that he's just happy to hear my voice, he loves to talk with me and wants to do what he can to help me.

And he means it.

A few weeks ago, I had a random melt down at dinner. I often feel overwhelmed with the things I feel I should be doing, but I'm not because I'm too tired or there's too much cramping, or to be perfectly honest, sometimes I just don't want to and need a break... That night was one of those nights. We were sitting at the table and he pulled me into his lap as I was crying. I tried to say, "I'm fine, I'm fine..." to brush it aside and not "bother him" and he looked at me and told me that wasn't true so it wasn't the right thing to say. I asked him what I should say and his response was, "Say, Will you stay with me and hold me for a while?" He knows when I'm not fine and he never wants me to hide it; even if I don't know why I'm upset (which, happens more than you'd think). He wants to know when I'm struggling because how else will he know that I need help and how to best support me?

He never questions what I can get done in a day. He never makes me feel like I should be doing more. He supports every decision I make. He helps me not undervalue myself as a mom and as a wife.

It's amazing how my entire life I envisioned myself getting married, having kids, raising a family.

I always knew that it was what I was meant to do, but I could never picture exactly the kind of person I'd be with. I always had qualities I was looking for, but never a whole picture because, really, a person with all of those qualities just doesn't exist...

Well, he does.

So often, I catch myself looking at Eric as we do the most mundane things - eating dinner, laundry, vacuuming - and I stop and realize, He's mine. He married me. He chose me. It's an amazing feeling that consumes me every time. We definitely have our more flamboyant moments and those are definitely special and important, but we really enjoy all the little things we do together as well.  We've been married for almost 5 years and I feel like nothing - none of our spark, none of the desire to please each other - has been lost. When he holds my hand or kisses me I still melt inside. The only thing that has changed is how much more comfortable we are around each other, how much more secure we are in each other, and how much more in love we are with each other. 

I am grateful every day for Eric. I know now as I have known and as I will always know that he is the right person for me. He knows how to make me strive to be better without making me feel like I'm not enough as I am. He knows how to swoop in at moments when I'm at my lowest, take me in his arms, and make me feel like I'm flying.

I don't know how I would do this without him. I don't know who I'd be without him.

I am the luckiest.

Little Cowgirl

A few years ago, back when I was in college, my grandparents (GP and Grammy) sent me a ton of hats. I purchased 2 hat racks so the kids can pick out which one they want to wear. I don't think they had any idea the mileage these hats would gain - I know I didn't!

The Weekend We Shamelessly Cheated on Winter

This weekend didn't start out terribly gorgeous - it started out dreary and foggy, actually...
This is how we entertain ourselves inside :)
Audrey loves her dress-ups and Aaron is getting very good with his Lego's!

 Thanks GP and Grammy for the chocolate cake!

Friday night, Eric performed with a few groups for a Regional Talent Show (it was audition based and several groups were told they needed a "real drummer" so they called him). It was crazy getting there though because Eric accidentally locked his keys, music, and drum sticks in his car... So his mom picked him up, they ran to the music store for new sticks, and I had his clothes ready for him to change into when he arrived. He played without music and did phenomenal, as always. He got loads of compliments and several people wanted to hire him for "gigs". He's pretty much ah-mazing! Thank you to Eric's parents and his brother, Michael's, family for coming to support him!

Saturday morning, Eric needed to go into work for a few hours to work on the cubical build-out so the kids and I drove him down and hung out in the break-room while he worked; just incase he couldn't break into his car and needed a ride home. It was dreary, foggy, and cold...

While we were hanging out in the break-room, one of Eric's co-workers, Mark, came in to fix himself a snack. He too was putting in extra hours on Saturday. Eric came in to let me know he was heading out to try to break into the car. Mark saw his "unique tools" before Eric explained anything and jokingly asked, "You planning to try to break into a car?" to which I jokingly replied, "Why? Do you have experience with that?" To our surprise, he does have experience with that! He used to work in a wrecking yard and had needed to get into all sorts of vehicles. He offered to help and went to get a few tools. He and Eric worked outside for about 15 minutes and were able to get into the car! We are so grateful! Lock smiths are expensive and there is a chance Eric might have been able to do it on his own, but it would have taken much longer. Mark jumped right into action - his snack left untouched on the counter.

 The kids and I headed home knowing Eric would be able to drive himself and as we were on our way, the sun came out! It was so gorgeous! The kids and I headed straight outside! Can you believe it's February?!? It seems more like May! I feel like we are cheating on winter ... but I don't feel bad about it one bit!

 We're going to need to get Audrey her own bike soon! She wants to be just like Aaron.

 They had a blast playing with chalk!

 At one point, I wasn't sure where Audrey went and after looking for her, this is what I found...

Guess we need to do something about that.

 The kids even enjoyed lunch outside (Aaron technically had 2 lunches since he ate with Eric and I once Eric got home - also outside.) 

 Seriously, so gorgeous! Then, the kids both took spectacular, LONG naps! Audrey napped for 5 hours and Aaron napped for 3 (he went down later than Audrey and we had to wake him). It was heaven! When they woke up, we did tinfoil dinners! Mmmm

 Despite their long naps, the kids still went down at a great time and today was a very relaxing day.
So relaxing, in fact, that both kids were in bed by 6:30.

Few things are sweeter than snuggles like this!

Dear Winter,

Please don't come back. We've moved on. We love the sun.
It's over between us. Perhaps we can try again at the end of the year.

They Say the Darndest Things...

I thought I should do another post with things my kids are saying these days and give you some pictures to look at as you scroll down :)

Audrey is getting so smart, is really enjoying movies, and has several 2-word phrases now.

"Don't Go." (often, it is a 3-word phrase... "DADDY! DON'T GO!" as Eric leaves for work)

here they are waiting for Daddy to get home :)

"More Please." "Let Go." "Hi There." are some of her common phrases.

She rarely says, "yes." It is usually, "uh-huh" in a high pitched voice.

She has also started saying, "MINE" very loudly...Thanks, Aaron, for teaching her that one...

I guess when they are as close as they are, she's bound to pick up a few things... 

 

Gramma got them balloons (and other toys) for Valentine's day. They LOVED the balloons!

They also got treats from our neighbor

The other day, Aaron looked at Eric and exclaimed, "Daddy, you look like batman... *gasp* YOU ARE BATMAN!!!"

 Aaron enjoyed handing out his racecar Valentines on Saturday :) It was a date with Mama while driving in Daddy's car ... which is apparently always an adventure!

 

  I obviously haven't been feeling well and sometimes, my children start to beg for more attention when sword fighting from the couch isn't enough... The other day, Aaron said repeatedly, " Mama, if you want a car, you just need to ask me for it and then we can play! Mama... just ask nicely and I'll give you one! Mama, you can ask! Mama, ask me for a car so we can play ... MAMA! JUST SAY IT!"

After Audrey has decided she has finished dinner, she'll often get down and come climb in our laps to help us finish our meal, haha!

Despite being angry when Daddy leaves for work, Audrey likes to help him get ready. She particularly enjoys sharing her shoes so his toes aren't cold.

 When Aaron was Audrey's age, he had "interests." He enjoyed cars and a few other toys so when his 2 year birthday rolled around, we knew to throw him a Cars themed birthday. Audrey's interests include: blankets, stuffed animals, and music. While this is adorable, I can't really plan a birthday party around that. That being said, I've started turning on Tangled more often in hopes Audrey comes to LOVE it. 

Here are my 2 couch potatoes... The epitome of American civilization.

Seriously, they stayed like this for about 15 minutes before switching positions to continue watching.

 I think I'm brainwashing the wrong child though... The other day, Aaron and I were sitting on my bed eating pepperonis and string cheese. (we peel the cheese and wrap it in the pepperonis like little tacos) As he was eating, Aaron, after asking me if his wrapped cheese was perfect, started to gossip... "Rapunzel doesn't know that she isn't her mama! Her mama is the queen ... yup! Isn't that right mama?" and so our discussion continued, haha! Such a funny little guy.

 Last week, I spent a LOT of time on my feet so by the time Sunday rolled around, I was pretty much dead. Eric took the kids to church and then sent me pictures :) Audrey apparently wouldn't let him leave her alone in nursery so I got lots of pictures from there. Doesn't Audrey look adorable! I love the way Eric dressed her - he always does such a great job! 

 After church, Eric let the kids play in the field for a little while. Aaron gave Audrey a "flower" and she didn't drop it the whole time they were playing - she loved it so much!

 Upon arriving home, Aaron came up on my bed and I asked him what he learned.

In typical gossip fashion, he laid back, placed his hands behind his head and began to talk.

"I didn't listen to her today, Mama."

"Who, your teacher?"

"Yeah, I wasn't very good..."

"What did you learn about?"

"Jesus..."

"And?"

"And how we were in his house so we should be good... oops."

And here is a picture of our little girl!

I had several tests done this last week and several more planned for next week.

This ultrasound showed that my cervix is actually not short - thank goodness!

The outside of the cervix is dilated but the inside is mostly closed up so that is also good news.

But, we still don't know what is causing the cramping or my extreme exhaustion. Hopefully we'll know more soon. At least we've got some good news for now!

And don't worry ... I'm doing my part ... I've put on 27lbs so far ... yikes